This past year was full of blessings and trials. Josh got a job at my work (well that was the end of last year but still). God is really blessing us in the fact that we are being favored and honored in the hard work that we do. Plus, two incomes coming in steadily is really awesome. It's great that it finally happend. Josh was out of a job for about over a year. That was really stressful and was really hard on our marriage. I truly believe that the Lord was testing us in every possible way. Through the time I felt that we were being stripped away from what was the norm. The only way I can describe it is like a piece if skin. A layer falls off. God pulled a layer of skin to show us who He is. We had to have 100% faith in what God's word said. One scripture that got me through that time was Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know that plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." The fact that the Lord has already set forth plans for Josh and I is an amazing. he knows the beginning and end and everything inbetween. I guess I never truly understood it until the trial came and the going got tough.
Sometimes when you are going through a storm like Josh and I went through for that year, your eye can be so closed in to what is going on and miss on what God is doing. But God is good and He brought us through it. Not to say we didn't need any help. Both of our parents got us through that year. We are eternally gratefull. We would have been on the streets if it wasn't for them.
Once we went through it though I have to say, "I think I would go through it again." Some people might say, "Beth are you crazy?" Yeah a little but that's another story. Lol. It made me a better person than I was. Before I was an angry and selfish person. Seeing how God provides for His people my pride was stripped down and I appreciated people a lot more. I'm not going to say now that I'm 100% perfect. But you know what? I'm a lot better off than where I was. I think it was totally what God needed to show me. That He will provide all of my needs and beyond.
Another hope for this year is for Josh and I to get pregnant. We have been trying for over a year. Trying and trying and trying and trying and trying and nothing is working. It is an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. As a woman when you can't get pregnant right away, I was thinking that something must be wrong with me. Every month that passed by I felt was a let down. it seemed also that everyone else around me was getting pregnant, too. In November and December I went to the doctors and got all the tests done to see if we could get pregnant. Get this? I am a female and can get pregnant!!!!!! YAY!!!! That sounds funny I know but it was such a sigh of relief. When you're on "baby making mode" all you can think about is timing and trying. Then months that pass by is...............emotional...... When it doesn't happen right away it can be sooooooo frustrating!! Here's the thing though. God is good.
A couple of months after Josh and I met we went to a confrence to see David Wagner, who is an amazing preacher!! This was that first time I was at a service where the presence of God was so thick. We were sitting in the last row (hopefully I wouldn't get picked to come up and have him pray over us). Well, we were called up so he could pray over us. He told us that we were going to have 3 children. Boy girl boy. I was taken back because that day Josh and I were talking about how many children we wanted. I said 4 and Josh said 2. God met us half way. That was 5 years ago. Honestly there are months that go by that the word David W gave us is the only thing holding us together. We know that the Lord has promised us children and he will give it to us on His timing. Not ours. I think we are to a point of rest. Rest in knowing that everything God gives to us is good.
Here is my New Years resolution for the year!!! Happy New Year (even though its the 13th).
1. To be more consistant with my time with God and in the Word
2. Be a better wife (even though I am good right now!!) Haha!
3. Be better at keeping the apartment clean
4. Lose weight and be healthy so we can get pregnant
5. Be more assertive
6. Start saving money
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